RockHell

So a special man

yes, that special man

is coming to Memphis in two weeks, and we’re going to:

• Blues City Cafe
• Graceland
• Top’s Barbecue
• Huey’s
• Brother Juniper’s
• The Rock and Soul Museum
• Stax Records
• Lunchbox Eats
• Booksellers
• The University of Memphis
• The Ghetto
• The Silly Goose
• A Redbird’s game
• Bosco’s
• Mr. Handy’s Blues Hall
• The Barksdale Restaurant
• The National Civil Rights Museum
• Mud Island
• The Brooke’s Museum
• Brushstrokes Restaurant
• Malls and Malls
• Itta Bena’s
• Miss Polly’s Soul City Cafe
• Talk of the Town Filipino Restaurant
• Mud Island
• Leonard’s
• and places
• and places
• and places
• are we even going to have time to do it?
• Just kidding, that’s not even a funny joke.
• And the entire family is meeting him at once
• because that’s not too intense…
• Just kidding, that is totally too intense.
• He’ll be fine, he’s a grown-up.

Negative comments about my long-distance relationship don’t affect that relationship or my feelings regarding it.

Negative comments about my body don’t make me hate myself the way you hate yourself.

Negative comments about other peoples’ bodies make me nit-pick yours.

Negative comments about my age remind me of how much more mature I am.

Negative comments about my attitude make me fucking love my attitude.

Negative comments about my beliefs further prove my points on which I base my beliefs.

• wants to discuss art
• enjoys us reading together
• regularly attends theatrical plays
• fantasizes about meeting authors and owning signed copies of their books
• classifies films by directors, not actors
• knows how to toast in HOW MANY LANGUAGES??
• understands political, historical, and economic context
• spends his time in museums, art exhibits, and performing arts concerts/recitals
• loves to cook, loves to eat, and loves to drink
• I’m going to have a seizure because this is just too wonderful.

Get ready for it.  I’m about to lay it on.

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

was just archiving things in my e-mail and came across one of my favorite poems ever, sent to me by my wonderful chilean man last summer— we had each sent each other our favorite Pablo Neruda poem to mark his birthday, and this particular one he sent me was so beautiful, and I just re-read it and thought that it is such an amazing poem and so little-known that I would share it.

If you read Spanish at all, even if you aren’t fluent, read the Spanish version first;  Neruda’s poetry translates remarkably well into English, but the beauty of his words is greatest in Spanish, I feel.  So, Spanish on top, and English on bottom.

La noche en la isla

Toda la noche he dormido contigo
junto al mar, en la isla.
Salvaje y dulce eras entre el placer y el sueño,
entre el fuego y el agua.

Tal vez muy tarde
nuestros sueños se unieron
en lo alto o en el fondo,
arriba como ramas que un mismo viento mueve,
abajo como rojas raíces que se tocan.

Tal vez tu sueño
se separó del mío
y por el mar oscuro
me buscaba
como antes
cuando aún no existías,
cuando sin divisarte
navegué por tu lado,
y tus ojos buscaban
lo que ahora
—pan, vino, amor y cólera—
te doy a manos llenas
porque tú eres la copa
que esperaba los dones de mi vida.

He dormido contigo
toda la noche mientras
la oscura tierra gira
con vivos y con muertos,
y al despertar de pronto
en medio de la sombra
mi brazo rodeaba tu cintura.
Ni la noche, ni el sueño
pudieron separarnos.

He dormido contigo
y al despertar tu boca
salida de tu sueño
me dio el sabor de tierra,
de agua marina, de algas,
del fondo de tu vida,
y recibí tu beso
mojado por la aurora
como si me llegara
del mar que nos rodea.

Night on the island

All night I have slept with you
next to the sea, on the island.
Wild and sweet you were between pleasure and sleep,
between fire and water.

Perhaps very late
our dreams joined
at the top or at the bottom,

Up above like branches moved by a common wind,
down below like red roots that touch.

Perhaps your dream
drifted from mine
and through the dark sea
was seeking me
as before,
when you did not yet exist,
when without sighting you
I sailed by your side,
and your eyes sought
what now–
bread, wine, love, and anger–
I heap upon you
because you are the cup
that was waiting for the gifts of my life.

I have slept with you
all night long while
the dark earth spins
with the living and the dead,
and on waking suddenly
in the midst of the shadow
my arm encircled your waist.

Neither night nor sleep
could separate us.

I have slept with you
and on waking, your mouth,
come from your dream,
gave me the taste of earth,
of sea water, of seaweed,
of the depths of your life,
and I received your kiss
moistened by the dawn
as if it came to me
from the sea that surrounds us.

Just watched “The Philosopher Kings”… If I ever see anyone else in my life talk shit to a janitor, I will personally punch them in their genitals.

Especially my James up at the University.

I’m pretty sure he only talks to me because I’m pretty,

but regardless, he’s nice as hell.  In fact, I have never been called “sweetie” and “honey” more in my life than by the custodial staff at the University of Memphis, and I grew up in the middle of 3 gigantic southern families, people!

And if you ever feel like YOUR life is hard, shit… watch that documentary, take some time to cry for those people, and then take some more time to cry over how obviously big of a vagina you are, and then resolve to get up and do something for yourself.

damn.

this is awkward, tumblr…

But I had to make a more serious move..

It’s not that I’m leaving you.

It’s just that, I needed something to supplement what I find you to lack.

That said, I’ll still always love you and promise to update you regularly with rants, thoughts, and inappropriate jokes.

But for the next stage of my life, the stage where I grow the fuck up and move away, there’s this new little gem I’m working on:

http://raquelrockhell.blogspot.com/

That’s the blog I’ll be using to update my graduating/moving to chile/politics between the u.s. and Chile/etc.

so you guys should check it out.  I’ve scoured the internet for blogs for teachers getting ready to and going to another country to teach, and it seems like an interesting way to reflect upon and convey to others the reasons for your move and the details about your new life.

If you ever get the chance to live with a 50 year old woman, turn it down.  I mean, if the choice is 50 year old woman or live on the street, just kill yourself.  It gets cold outside at night, so the street thing is an obvious no, and the 50 year old woman will make you wish you were dead, anyway. Might as well go on your own terms.

55 days until I’m back in Chile, you say?????

55 days until I’m in warm weather on the beach, you say???

55 days until I’m having amazing wine and amazing sex and amazing food, you say???

55 days until I’m speaking straight-up chilenismos all day, you say???

55 days until I’m going on overseas job interviews, you say??

Shit, bitch, this calls for a shopping trip!

Just realized that I’m still going to pass this course with like an 85 even if I don’t do the parent interview assignment FUUUUUCCCCCKKKK YES GUESS WHAT I’M DEFINITELY NOT DOING THIS WEEKEND!!!!

Soooo

I’m planning an engagement party for my best friend, Misty, her lovely husband-to-be, Lemar.  I’m really excited about it; I’ve already got a jazz/blues playlist worked out, the decorations planned out, invitations (for the most part) chosen, the menu of food and booze (although there are some wine and beer selections to still be made), and she is working with me on a guest list.

I hope it goes really well; I’m sure it will.  She’s such a sweetheart and deserves to have a big deal made over all of this.  I’m hoping that, despite some tense feelings against me from an ex and a friend or two of his, everyone invited will attend.. While my opinion of my ex-boyfriend is not exactly high, I would expect that he could act like a civil adult and show up to the engagement celebration of two of his best friends.  Shit I’m not asking them to come because I want to see them; it’s more a matter of me not wanting for something that unfortunately was made very, very dramatic to intrude on the celebrations that this lovely couple will be having for the next year— and like it or not, we’re both invited to pretty much all of it.  I mean in all reality, I’m the youngest in this group of people by at least 5 years; I should be able to expect reasonable, adult-like behavior, right?

Regardless, I’m excited about it.  I think it’s going to be so nice to get everyone together over food and drinks and just chat and show off pictures of the two of them, discuss wedding plans, and just in general catch up with everyone.  I got way super excited over this;  Perhaps because my party planning skills are rather limited— I have no idea what to even suggest for the other parties that are bride-only affairs… I wish I had a gay best friend to help me out with this kind of stuff.. Of course, I have her sister and other best friend to help me out, too, so I think the planning is going to be part of the fun :)